Transvestia
for months. For some years now, the daughter is home all the time. I have about no chance to dress at all except late in some evenings, and the few times she is away for an hour or so. Of late I have been able to take some color pictures of myself. I had done quite a lot of B. and W. work some years ago, and except for no proper wig at all I thought I was not so bad, might almost pass. Now, color prints show me to be a quite natural, but of course, very old woman. That is about all the pleasure I am able to get from my dresses.
But all my life I have done too much day-dream- ing. I think many TV's do. Very early dreams when I was about six as far as I can date them, have given me some slight belief that there may be something to tran- smigration of souls. They certainly were very close to putting boys into metal belts to make them the most wasp waisted of any people. Then dreams changed to mechanical matters. But with the increase in my TV longings, the dreams increased. Many times I have spent all my spare time and even working hours on some long story of TV life as I wish it could be. Some I have even written out.
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To close this story as I started it, I would repeat that early feminine influence had no effect at all, ex- cept that being used to older women visiting mother and aunt, in fact almost the only visitors, I became used to their ways and could talk to them. Some I think felt sorry for me and my very lonely life and talked to me and took an interest in me. So I have al- ways been able to talk to older women and to get on with them. But the main point is that while I was born with intense TV longings that have greatly affected my whole life, still they did not develop except as fetish ideas till I was about twenty or more. Also that they do not diminish in the least with marriage or old age.
Dr. Kinsey was very interested in my History. I still have a letter wanting to arrange a personal inter- view. But war conditions prevented. He asked did I want a change of sex. I replied no, but wanted to be able to dress as I should in public. What I badly wanted
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